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I have had some experience with them. From what I know is that they ruin your psyche and life, they'll separate you from your friends and family, they play first the nice guy/friend/uncle or father figure. Mostly like the narcissist would be. If that's the case, be careful with what you share, especially your memories. It could be that he isn't even aware of of being a spy but the ones behind him get all the information you gave him. Unconsciously he will feel that something isn't right, he is not allowed to be uncovered. That could explain his behaviour.
Take care, much love from me,
Devatara

I've had experience with both handlers and narcissists in my life. They suck.

Narcissists are the worst. They don't have programming, just an agenda to suck the life out of you to keep them going. There is really nothing you can use against them except to leave and never look back. They can pretend to be nice, until they figure out you are onto them. And once you let it slip you know, they will never be nice again.

Handlers are something else. They are people with alters. One alter actually loves you. The other is programmed to keep you on a specific path. So there is a rocking back and forth between the behaviors. They will be kind and loving, until you step out of the path. And then they will do what it takes to get you back on it. Once you are back on the path, they will be loving and kind again. And not remember the crap they pulled.

You should also understand that all of us go through a period where we doubt everyone around us. Because what we are going through and obsessing about is so far out of the norm, we do legitimately worry our mates. They just want their old partner back. And while we are scared, it looks like handler behavior.

What you described about your husband crying, that is actually normal for a worried husband of one of us. I would be more worried if he hadn't cried. Your comment actually hurt him. Narcissists can't be hurt.

Your "Penny" Might Be Your Alternate Personality? I'm Not An Expert In Alters, But That's What It Sounds Like.

I don't remember working with the children. That does not mean that I didn't. Just at this time I don't remember it.

There are several people who are public who remember me as a teacher or someone who saved their life as a child. Almost all are women now. I feel a connection to these people that is unexplainable unless they are telling the truth. KJ Scoops, Andrea Sadegh, Rochelle all remember me doing one or the other.

It actually helps me calm down some to know that I did help children. Most of my memories are of killing, or being in trouble. My alters that I remember are soldiers, not kind people. Or they are are navigators and responsible to take the ship through hyperspace and coming out with no one in a bulkhead or coming out inside a solid object.

This is something else to consider... and I am posting only after great reflection and meditation. I'm trying to read your situation as you asked for help. Your subconscious has given me permission to read you. I will not invasively read your husband though.

Just what I'm picking up... consider that your husband may have alters too. I feel he's genuinely loving most of the time. But there may be an implanted alter that is there to step in and "handle" you when needed. It is not unthinkable that if an alter can be implanted in us... so can one be implanted in our loved ones to control us.

Ian

Ian is very obvious when he's checking on you. Unless you have no abilities at all, you will notice him. And yes, he's safe and means well.

He has checked in on me more than once.