TOPIC:

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to tell a bit about my journey to the realization of having been used as an asset (a.k.a. slave) in the SSP. I've got a general picture of some things that have happened to me over there, but I don't like to talk about it publicly because:
1. Most of that are things that have been told to me by a (really good) remote viewer, and I don't hold the actual memories.
2. I'm not here to impress people with a story.

However, for those who are wondering,

I remember I had some weird dreams as a small child. I only now understand that they are connected, back then I never suspected a thing. Also, I don't know where to place these experiences sequentially, what happened before what. My childhood memories are not that clear. So anyway.

I remember one day waking up, but feeling shocked emotionally. I never remembered that dream, but when I woke up I walked outside and just felt really disconnected. I tried to do my best to remember it, but failed. I also could not snap out of it. Something weird happened and I just didn't feel right. From the trauma's I would experience later on in life, I would judge I was traumatized back then as well, even though there was no logical reason to be.
Nowadays, when anyone talks about 'water boarding', it always brings me back to this specific moment. Must be why...

I also remember one day waking up, feeling as though I had been somewhere else for a very long time. I didn't know how long, but I guessed it must have been months, if not a year or more. It was impossible to tell.

Moreover, I remember waking up one day, and then feeling as though I lost my faith in humanity, not knowing why or what caused it. Besides, I think that thought is just plain weird for a child to have at that age, right after waking up.
I also remember one day thinking, "this can't be everything there is, it just can't be".

Then there were also this recurring dream, of being an adult, eating bread with some adult friends, and then all of the sudden turning back into a small child again. I remember I always felt dismayed from the fact that I had to grow into an adult all over again, especially since now I felt 'not right' inside, and I wasn't just going to be 'right', ever again. And there was this scary 'shadow me' hiding somewhere, playing with my toys as if it was actually me.

There was also I dream I had of being taken by a UFO, and being brought back at the end of the dream.

Also I had this dream as a child which I knew I had more often, I just remembered it only once. It was about being in some sort of elevator, which went up and down (or just down?), in some sort of futuristic looking place. Each floor was very visible due to the use of mostly glass. I thought I was in some sort of futuristic zoo.
There was one floor on which there were green beings that caused some cognitive dissonance in me, because I just wasn't sure if I was looking at some sort of crocodile, or a dinosaur. I couldn't make out how to categorize them. (Sound familiar doesn't it?) Can't remember the look of them though, only the thoughts I had. I was also very grateful that they were behind glass, even though I didn't feel safe at all being in their vicinity.
I now know this is actually a memory, as someone else told me this happened to me, without ever telling them about this dream.

Otherwise, I had a pretty normal life I would say, except that I've let myself get manipulated into accepting horrible stuff at an age of 11 or so. AFAIK this has nothing to do with anything SSP related, but it might be worth mentioning. It involved sexual abuse and had to live in fear every day for 3-4 years or so.
Anyway, I used to look back at this and not understand how I could have been so submissive. Emotionally it never made much sense to me. This sparked some thinking in me later on in life.

Then, at some point when I was 20 year old, I tried smoking marijuana for the first time in my life. For some reason, this triggered something in me that made have the most terrible nightmare I ever had in my life. The whole 'dream' was black and white, and extremely realistic. I dreamed I was some sort of 'criminal' (as I perceived it), that was extremely violent, and that 'stole' his baby from his wife. I would then drive away with my baby in a car, while being shot at. This was the most stunning moment for me, because the act of taking out a handgun to shoot at somebody felt so real and detailed to me, and the guilt I felt for the child being involved in this was just too great.
I know I was stopped somewhere along the way, while thinking to myself that I knew very well I would be caught at some point. That it was inevitable. However I had kinda get used to getting away with the crimes I was committing at that moment, or to the bloodlust I should say. I was a bit disappointed that I had arrived at this moment that I was caught, and I feel I tried to make one last gesture to the capturerer(s), to at least show that I wasn't what my crimes made me out to be. I don't know what I did, I just know I failed... If I could have just shown one person that I'm not doing all this for the wrong reasons, I could have died happily (figuratively speaking, but perhaps literally as well). The fact that I felt it didn't work... hurt.

Anyway, from that night on, I would get the most intense nightmares every night, consistently, for months. Most made me feel I was some kind of monster or evil being like a demon that destroyed everything. Often time I felt I woke up in a battlefield. During the day, all I knew was that I was a terrible being that needed to get off this earth (by suicide) so it could hurt nobody anymore. Or so I believed. This escalated pretty quickly because I just didn't want to sleep anymore, nor be awake. I began to roam the streets and sleep at random places in the streets at some point.
Then, my father wanted to get me into a psych ward, which honestly, I don't blame him. Luckily my mother didn't agree and I stayed with her from then on.
She tried to get me slowly back into society, and I had connections with my old friends again. The dreams slowly started to get less intense. They were just bad dreams and normal nightmares at some point, until I decided I had to face the fact that somewhere in me I don't want to die yet.

Then, after some years I figured I had to take authority over my own happiness, and that steered me into a direction that has brought me where I am now; happy enough and functional again in society.

Years later, I would stumble upon cosmic disclosure, which at least opened me up to the idea of people being used in the SSP unknowingly. Years after that I started wondering why I felt so very intrigued by the whole subject. That and some other things have led me to figure out what was going on. (This is a story on its own, and probably not so interesting.)

Anyway, hope this interests somebody. Or helps them. I don't know.
If anyone is struggling with their life I would like to say this:
Congrats for making it thus far, and thanks for being here.

Thanks for sharing that.

I would recommend you get regression hypnosis with a reputable person. There are things you should ask this person first, because you are very vulnerable during hypnosis.

I have dealt with hypnotists who change your memories, thinking they are curing you. They are not. They are making it impossible for someone later to help you.
I have dealt with hypnotists who gave post hypnotic suggestions that got people in trouble.
I have dealt with hypnotists who activated Omega Programming [suicide programs] and didn't know how to undo them.

A good one will record the session and give you a copy. A bad one will upload it to YT.
A good one will let your subconscious lead the session. A bad one will lead you into what they want you to remember.

The best one I had was trained by Delores Cannon. The worst one left me in active Omega Programming.

hmmmmyeah. I have had a few regressions done. Then life got in the way and I lost track...
I should do some sessions again I guess.

I wish I could summarize as eloquently as you did

Sam131 wrote: I wish I could summarize as eloquently as you did

Thanks. It looked more like spaghetti to me. xD But yeah.